2 and a half years ago I quit art. Yesterday I got into Spectrum.
2 and a half years ago I quit art
Yesterday I got into Spectrum
"Shrine Guardian" - Chris Knight - 2018
I just landed an assignment from a company I had been courting for years and was working for an art house doing concept art and illustrating for “dream” companies. One day I was putting the final touches on my final character illustration and my computer crashed, corrupting several files*. My Art Director was a sweetheart and despite missing my deadline by 2 sleepless days, all was cool.
Except I was in terminal burnout. I was at the height of my freelance career at that point but was working constantly alone in the dark. I would regularly peek through the window blinds, preoccupied by the memory of men kicking down my front door a year previous while my girlfriend and I barricaded ourselves in the bedroom. Professionalism was keeping my life together and missing that deadline tore me up.
My father had a weird lump in his neck.
I finished my assignments for the art house and turned down further assignments for a couple of months while I tried to figure out how to continue making a living as an artist and still have a life.
The lump was cancer.
Over the next year I didn’t touch a pencil or stylus. I had been helping with my family’s business for a couple of years and was suddenly charged with running it.
My father stopped eating and was admitted to the hospital. He told me he wanted to die. I drank myself to sleep every night.
I spent a lot of time in Chemotherapy clinics. The doctor was telling my father and me that he was in remission. I cried for the first time.
I started doodling again. It felt nutritious, like eating after a long fast.
Illustration work started coming in again. That girlfriend and I got married. I created some personal work that I was really proud of.
Today I found out that personal work was accepted into Spectrum 26- a milestone I never thought I’d pass two years ago.
Every creative suffers from some form of burnout. You might be feeling it right now- maybe because of another year’s rejections by juried publications, maybe because life is currently kicking the ever loving shit out of you.
Your burned-out brain isn’t lying when it tells you it’s hard as hell to make it as a creative. Taking some time off and exploring other ways to make money isn’t always a bad idea either.
It requires courage to continue down the path toward the distant mountain. You see skeletons along the way gripping broken pencils and torn-up screen plays. Goblins steal your files in the dark of night and corrupt them. But if you do keep going, pay attention to the markers along the way. When you look back up at the mountain, it might seem a little closer.
*Now I compulsively backup my work on dropbox :P
My father had a weird lump in his neck.
I finished my assignments for the art house and turned down further assignments for a couple of months while I tried to figure out how to continue making a living as an artist and still have a life.
The lump was cancer.
Over the next year I didn’t touch a pencil or stylus. I had been helping with my family’s business for a couple of years and was suddenly charged with running it.
My father stopped eating and was admitted to the hospital. He told me he wanted to die. I drank myself to sleep every night.
I spent a lot of time in Chemotherapy clinics. The doctor was telling my father and me that he was in remission. I cried for the first time.
I started doodling again. It felt nutritious, like eating after a long fast.
Illustration work started coming in again. That girlfriend and I got married. I created some personal work that I was really proud of.
Today I found out that personal work was accepted into Spectrum 26- a milestone I never thought I’d pass two years ago.
Every creative suffers from some form of burnout. You might be feeling it right now- maybe because of another year’s rejections by juried publications, maybe because life is currently kicking the ever loving shit out of you.
Your burned-out brain isn’t lying when it tells you it’s hard as hell to make it as a creative. Taking some time off and exploring other ways to make money isn’t always a bad idea either.
It requires courage to continue down the path toward the distant mountain. You see skeletons along the way gripping broken pencils and torn-up screen plays. Goblins steal your files in the dark of night and corrupt them. But if you do keep going, pay attention to the markers along the way. When you look back up at the mountain, it might seem a little closer.
*Now I compulsively backup my work on dropbox :P
Chris Knight, owner of Good Knight Art Studio, is an illustrator and concept artist working in the entertainment industry. You can see his work at goodknightart.com
This was a good read. I hope life continues to treat you well.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. It's always helpful to hear honesty about life and work from other artists.
ReplyDelete